Being the Buddha requires a lot of thinking, so naturally I have thoughts to share. First off, I have concluded that in all life there is suffering. No matter where we go or what we do, we'll encounter things that are bad and make us feel bad. That sucks. And it sucks because of desire. Suffering is caused by our desire for things rather than being content with our Self. So I figure, there must be a way to get rid of this suffering if I know what the cause is, right? I mean, if desire causes suffering then desire needs to be eliminated, right? So I spent many sleepless nights trying to figure that one out and came up with this eight step path thing:

1) Right conduct
2) Right intent
3) Right speech
4) Right knowledge
5) Right means of livelihood
6) Right effort
7) Right mindfulness
8) Right meditation

I've found that going by all of that really kicks some desire ass. But it takes practice and diligence. It's kind of like that old Raffi song, "The Cat Came Back (The Very Next Day)", where you realize that it'll just keep returning and returning until you build up the courage to just shoot the damn thing and throw it in a dumpster. Slowly but surely you'll need to build up the courage to kill your kitten called "Desire." Some of you will have to build the gun from scratch, others of you have had their finger on the trigger for years and just haven't figured out how to pull it. But perhaps this isn't the best metaphor as I am a pacifist. Either way, you get the point, hopefully.

Stay tuned! Next week we'll discuss ten new ways to turn a Buddha belly into something sexy!